Waiting in line for anything isn’t worth it.

This has been “One Man’s Take, by Taylor Berman,” a recurring showcase of opinion writing. Previously: Holidays. Corn. Websites. New sports. The moon. True Detective. Fear. Perfume. Nuggets. Kanye West. Education. Chefs. Flip-flops. Children’s shows.

[Illustration by Jim Cooke]

Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.